


The Boy-Who-Survived

by Read2Laugh2Love



Series: Too Tired to Fear [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dementors, Depression, Self-Destruction, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 09:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Read2Laugh2Love/pseuds/Read2Laugh2Love
Summary: Harry has had a hard life, no one would disagree. But no one understood just how tired he was, either.





	The Boy-Who-Survived

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to expand on the tags a bit. This is a short piece, but it could potentially be triggering. There are self destructive thoughts throughout, so please be aware.  
> If this does trigger anyone, I am deeply sorry. I am open to talking, so if anyone finds themselves needing an ear, feel free to reach out.  
> Also, this is very therapeutic for me, as well as being my first published fic, un beta'd and written late at night. Please be gentle.

He kicked at the sand under the swing, not bothering to move beyond a soft sway. He watched the approaching boys through his fringe and didn't acknowledge them. They would take his pain, but they would not get fear from him.

He was too tired to bother.

They talked at him, and although he knew that he replied-- he always did-- he wasn't entirely sure what he said. Probably something taunting. Whatever it was, it made the small crowd happy to have an excuse, not that they would ever need one.

They pulled at him and shoved him, and there were hands holding him up while others slammed into his stomach and--

He just didn't care.

Oh, sure he was scared. The instinctual fear that screams when you are hurt. The fear that says _you can stop them_ and _don't suffer this_ and even _hurt them back._

He ignored the voice. His body was jolting and cowering and running, but for all that, in his mind he swayed on the swing.

 

Until.

It was cold.  
It was black.  
Rain was pelting down.  
It was so cold.

 

And suddenly, his mind wasn't on the swing. It was with his body, staring at Dudley, who was screaming in his face to _stop it, stop it you freak, I'll tell Dad,_ as a storm raged around them.

Finally, he smiled softly. He said “Go home, Dudley. Get out of the storm.”

He sat back down on the swing as Dudley ran, ran away from the storm, ran away from the feelings of doom that were closing in around Harry

Harry felt the doom. He felt the terror, the hopelessness, the heart wrenching sadness. It just wasn't much different from what he felt at any other time.

His friends would be fine. Ron and Hermione had each other, and would only become closer without him near. Sirius and Remus were reunited. No one else actually cared. No one else wanted anyone more than a Savior. And Harry... he was done. Dumbledore could be the “Savior” again. Harry Potter? Well, the Boy-Who-Lived should have been named the Boy-Who-Survived, because he certainly wasn't living anymore

He watched the wraiths appear around him.

He listened to his mother's screams, and when she said _“Not Harry!”_ he responded _“Please, I don't want your sacrifice. I can't do this anymore. Please, please, take Harry.”_

His mother's screams were not a happy memory. In fact, it was the most miserable memory he had. But it was enough.

As the creature consumed his happiness, he held onto his misery and let it protect him as he broke free and fell into his mother's and father's arms.

 

His body was Kissed.  
His mind was blank.  
But his soul?

 His soul was free. For the first time in his memory, he was truly happy.


End file.
